Wedding Notebook
a resource of the Long Green Valley
Church of the Brethren
Charge to Bride and Groom
While the call to worship is directed to the whole congregation, the
charge is addressed to you. It is a preparation for the vows you are about to
take. It may be omitted or replaced with a short meditation or sermon, a
selected reading on marriage, or scripture. Some sample charges:
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A. I charge you both, as you stand in the presence of God,
to remember that love and loyalty alone will avail as the foundations of a happy
and enduring home. If the solemn vows which you are about to make be kept
permanently, and if steadfastly you seek to do the will of your Heavenly Father,
your life will be full of peace and joy, and the home which you are establishing
will abide through every change.
B. ________ and ________, you are giving yourselves to each
other in unselfish love. You will make a solemn vow to each other, a deliberate
promise that come what may, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health
you will be true and faithful to each other.
This
means thoughtfulness and patience, ready sympathy and forbearance, talking over
and sharing your special interests. Thus you will learn to bear each other's
burdens, making your life journey together one of radiant joy and hope.
This
service is far more than the exchange of solemn vows. It is one of blessing. If
is only with God's help that you can steadfastly keep the promises you will here
make to each other. The everliving Christ is here to bless and guide you. He
will always be by your side to help you. The nearer you keep to God, the closer
and dearer you will be to each other.
C. In the presence of God and of these friends, I charge
you, ________ and ________, to cherish a mutual esteem and love; to bear with
each other's infirmities and weaknesses; to comfort each other in sickness,
trouble, and sorrow, in honesty and industry to provide for each other; to pray
for and encourage each other in the things which pertain to God; and to live
together as heirs of the grace of God.
But
you can not do this alone. Trust in God, pray to him daily, give your talents to
the church, find your place in its fellowship, and accept its ministries to
inspire, to instruct, and to keep alive the love of God in your hearts which has
brought you together and which sustains you.
God
is joining you together. He will seal you covenant with His. Thus you will be
the instruments of his will and purpose for yourselves and for others. Your love
is not your own; it is God's love implanted within you to which you in freedom
have joyously responded. Now he will create out of your love something which did
not exist before - a holy marriage. Marriage is more than your love for each
other; it is God's holy ordinance; it is his act before it is yours. By the will
of God you belong to each other until death will part you.
D. ________ and ________, the covenant which you are about
to make with each other is meant to be a beautiful and sacred expression of your
love for each other. As you pledge your vows to each other, and as you commit
your lives to each other, we ask that you do so in all seriousness, and yet with
a deep sense of joy; with the deep conviction that you are committing yourselves
to a dynamic growing relationship of trust, mutual support, and caring love.
E. Of all the men and women you have met, you have chosen
each other as partners in life. To grow together in love, you will need to
commit yourselves to each other freely and gladly.
If
you know of nothing, legal or moral, to forbid your vows, and wish now to commit
yourselves to each other, indicate that by joining right hands. I call on you
both, now in the presence of God and your friends and families, to give
expression to the commitment you have made to each other.
F. ________ and ________, we want to remind you of the
seriousness of the commitment you are about to make to each other. To pledge
your life to another person in a lifelong relationship is an awesome, and yet
beautiful, act. We want to hear from you your readiness to pledge your vows to
each other, and so we ask...
G.
(An example of a larger charge,
similar to what a meditation would be like.)
I
charge you both, as you stand here in this high moment of your lives, to
remember that love and loyalty alone will stand as the foundations of a happy
and enduring home. If the vows you make this day are kept, your life together
will be full of joy and peace, and the home which you make shall abide through
every unknown future.
In
this new life together, I counsel you to recall ever anew the thrill of your
early love. Cherish always the visions and hopes you have this day, and let them
not be tarnished by common events or routine habit. Believe in your ideals for
this marriage, and diligently pursue them, and they shall indeed become
realities.
I charge you both to make your love
for each other a growing part of your lives, feeding it from the very best
resources of your living. You must grow to the point where each gains major
satisfaction in giving happiness to the other. Give of yourself to the other,
deeply and freely and generously, ever recalling the words of the poet who has
said:
Love ever gives, forgives, outlives:
And ever stands with open hands.
And while it lives. It gives.
For this is love's prerogative:
To give--and give--and give.
Yes,
it is also necessary to recognize that marriage is a relationship of two persons
who are not always at their best, and even in these moments of human failing, I
counsel you always to act with charity and compassion toward one another,
sharing the spirit expressed in the Book of Ephesians: "Be kind to one
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another." I would further charge you
to understand, and constantly to strengthen, the spiritual basis of your love,
recognizing that it is the most precious of all God's gifts to you, and that it
must be nurtured until it attains to the state of perfect love which is intended
by God for all people. Keep ever before you the words of the New Testament:
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God. If we love one
another, God dwells in us, and in us shall his love be perfected." Keep
your hearts and minds open to the inner working of his spirit, that you love for
each other may become as his love for us, full and complete in every way.
And
finally, I do charge and require you both to remember this day as the most
sacred day in your lives--as the day in which you promised, before God and man,
that in every way possible you would strive to bring each other life's greatest
fulfillment.
H.
(Another example of a meditation
charge.)
Hand
in Hand you enter marriage, hand in hand you step out in faith. The hand you
freely give to each other, is both the strongest and the most tender part of you
body. In the years ahead you will need both strength and tenderness. Be firm in
your commitment. Don't let your grip become weak. And yet, be flexible as you go
through change. Don't let your hold become intolerable. Strength and
tenderness...Firm commitment and flexibility....of such is a marriage made, hand
in hand: Remember this well!
Also
remember that you don't walk this path alone. Don't be afraid to reach out to
others when together you face difficulty. Other hands are there: friends,
family, and the church. To accept an outreached hand is not an admission of
failure, but an act of faith. For behind us, underneath us, around us all, are
the outstretched arms of the One from Galilee. It is into his hand, the hands of
God in Jesus Christ, that, above all else, we commit this union of husband and
wife. Hand in hand (couple, church, God) you enter marriage. Let us step out in
faith. Amen.
format ©2001 Peter
L. Haynes
actual worship items come from a variety of sources
please use!