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Skit
"Disciple Auditions"
For this skit, you will need eight auditioners, one
stagehand, and the director. This dialogue is only meant to give
you an outline to follow. Have your actors ad-lib their own lines
to fit their parts.
Director:
Thank you for coming, ladies and gentlemen. As you know, we
are auditioning for disciples to follow Jesus Christ. When your
number is called, please step forward to the microphone and answer
the questions.
Stagehand:
Number One, please. (Person
#1 steps to the microphone. She should obviously be a “glamour
girl” type.)
Director:
State your name, please.
Person
#1:
(Use real or
ficticious names.)
Director:
Why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#1:
Well, isn’t this a beauty contest? I thought you would
obviously want me. I’m so gorgeous!
Director:
Thank you, Miss. Step back, please.
Stagehand:
Number Two, please.
Director:
State your name. (He
does.) Louder, please. (Again, he does.) Thank you, Mr. why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#2:
Well, actually, I don’t know. My mother made me come and
if I didn’t show up, I’d get so much flack it wouldn’t be
worth it. I’m here because I have to be here.
Director:
Thank you. You may step back.
Stagehand:
Number Three, please.
Director:
State your name, please. (He
does.) And why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#3:
Well, I’m really good at everything. I’m an honor
student, a member of the basketball team, and first chair in band.
You name it and I can do it. So, here I am.
Director:
Thank you. Step back, please.
Stagehand:
Number Four.
Director:
Your name, please? (He
gives his name.)
What? (Again, he
gives his name.)
O.K., Mr. , why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#4:
I need a job. I’m in trouble. I broke my bike. I need new
shoes. Please, take me. I’ll work hard. Honest!
Director:
Thank you. Please step back.
Stagehand:
Next—Number Five.
Director:
Number Five, state your name. (She
does.) Why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#5:
Well, I’m not very good at anything, but if Jesus can use
me, I’ll do whatever he wants.
Director:
Thank you, Miss _____________. Step back.
Stagehand:
Number Six.
Director:
State your name. (He
does.) Why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#6:
Well, I’ve been in Sunday school for fourteen years. I go
to Bible study on Tuesday, youth group on Wednesday, and I help
with the children’s program on Saturday. I attend all three
services on Sunday, and I never miss anything. I know what
discipleship means.
Director:
And what does it mean?
Person
#6:
To be a follower—I follow all my friends and know when
everything meets.
Director:
Thank you, step back.
Stagehand:
Number Seven, please.
Director:
State your name, please. (She
does.) And why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#7:
I don’t have an option. I’ve decided to follow Christ,
and he has commanded me to go and to make disciples. And to make
disciples, I guess I have to be one.
Director:
Thank you, Miss ______________. Step back, please.
Stagehand:
Number Eight, step forward.
Director:
State your name, please. (very
shy response)
Don’t be afraid. Say your name loud and clear. (He
does.)
O.K., why do you want to be a disciple?
Person
#8:
I don’t understand what it means, but I want to know
Jesus better and I was hoping you would help me.
Director:
Thank you. Step back, please. I’d like to ask all of you
to leave the room for a moment, while I discuss the decision with
my associate. (They
all leave.)
At this point, the director mumbles something to the
stagehand, and the stagehand leaves to bring back Numbers One,
Two, Three, Four, and Six.
Director:
I have reached my decision. When I call your number, please
step forward.
Number One, Miss _____________. So you think this is
a beauty contest. Being a disciple has nothing at all to do with
what you look like on the outside. It’s who you have in the
inside that counts. Thank you for auditioning. I’m sorry.
Number Two. Your mother made you come, Mr.
_____________ ? Well, this is one thing your mother can’t make
you do. You can only do it on your own. Thank you for auditioning.
You may leave.
Number Three, Mr. ______________. It’s great that
you can do everything. Unfortunately, being a disciple has little
to do with what you can do, but rather what you can’t do.
That’s why a disciple needs Jesus. Thank you for auditioning.
Number Four. So you want a job. You need the money.
Well, discipleship will cost you everything you have for maybe no
money gained at all. But the final reward is great. Thank you for
auditioning.
Number Six. Ah yes, you follow your friends to every
meeting. But the question is, Do you follow Jesus? What do you do
for him?
Person
#6:
What do you mean? As long as I go to everything, isn’t
that enough?
Director:
A disciple joyfully does whatever he can for Jesus with or
without his friends. Thank you for auditioning.
Director:
Stagehand. (leaves and brings in Numbers Five, Seven, and Eight)
Director:
Number Five, step forward. Miss _____________. You love
Jesus but can’t do anything? You have a special talent that God
has given you for discipleship. Welcome to the family.
Number Eight, step forward. You want to learn more
about Jesus. We’re here to help a learner learn more. You see,
that’s what discipleship is all about. Welcome to the family.
Number Seven. Ah yes, the girl with no option.
You’re right. You accepted Christ and to follow his command, you
are a disciple. Thank you for coming and welcome to the family.
(to stagehand) Why are so many called and so few chosen?
Stagehand:
Don’t worry. Look at all these people (pointing
to audience).
Perhaps next time, some of these folks will audition. I think
we’ll get a better result.
from
The
Greatest Skits on Earth
Wayne Rice & Mike Yaconelli
©1986, Zondervan, pp.
40-43
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